You are in the middle of another busy day of legal practice when your star associate pops their head in your office. “Can I speak to you for a moment?” “Sure,” you say. The next thing you know, the associate is telling you they are resigning from their position and will be gone in four weeks.

This is the reality of the workplace; good associates and staff members move on. Why do people leave? Most often, it is to make a career move that better aligns with their goals. Sometimes, it is also about money. Or it can be because of problems in the workplace.

And here’s what’s true. When running a small firm with one or only two associates, a sudden departure can be destabilizing and highly problematic as a lot of unplanned work lands on your desk!

Yes, it can be a nightmare in the short term. And it is survivable.

Here are five tips for handling the – carpet pulled out from under you – moment:

  1. Give yourself time to process. If you cannot choke out those words of congratulations, or indeed cannot say anything positive, take a deep breath, and if appropriate, ask the departing associate to work on a transition plan that you can review together later. Explain you need some time and schedule a meeting at a later date.
  2. Notice and name the feelings that come up. “I notice I am feeling furious.” “I notice I am feeling sad and very anxious and stressed.” Understand that with sudden change, big emotions can emerge. You can’t stop this. You can only go with this.
  3. Do not vent or share these emotions with the departing employee or other staff. Do talk about your feelings in confidence with trusted friends or advisors. Expressing your thoughts and feelings will help you move through them and get back on an even keel.
  4. The departing employee likely won’t fully appreciate the challenges their departure presents. And they don’t need to. It is inappropriate to complain, exclaim, or lecture the departing employee about how much trouble they have caused. It is better to review their transition plan and focus on the day-to-day steps that need to be carried out.
  5. Don’t give up. The immediate instinct after a sudden resignation can be to say, “Never again.” At the moment, it may seem like too much work hiring and training someone just to have them leave. That could be a mistake. Solo practice is hard. With backup, getting time off email and away from clients and files is more manageable. It can also be lonely working solo. With associates, you can delegate. Annual revenues increase, and you can bring in support staff. Let some time pass before making any decisions.

Bottom line, breakups are hard. Losing good people from your firm hurts. They are often happy and excited about the new opportunity, and you are angry, sad, and stressed about the problems their departure causes. Take care of yourself. Turn to your friends for support. Chalk it up to one of those inevitable experiences in the snakes and ladders game of running a business.

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