We are all growing more aware of the impact of the menopause on the lives of women, a development that was well-overdue. As we become more informed, it’s clear that there’s a connection between the menopause and the breakdown of relationships. With the majority of divorces in the UK started by women in their menopausal years, so called ‘menopausal divorces’ are the outcome of a perfect storm.
What is menopausal divorce?
A menopausal divorce is a divorce that occurs during a woman’s menopausal years. Over 60% of divorces in the UK are initiated by women in their 40s, 50s and 60s, ages when women are typically either going through perimenopause, menopause, or are post-menopause.
The number of women in the UK going through the menopause at any given time is estimated to be around 3 million, a significant proportion of the population.
How common are menopausal divorces?
It is common for a marriage to break down during a woman’s menopausal years. In fact, divorce rates peak for couples aged 45 to 49 years old in the UK, with the average age for divorce being 43.9 for women and 46.4 for men (ONS).
We see this reflected at Stowe, where we receive a significant proportion of divorce enquiries from women in their 40s and early 50s, often citing familiar issues caused or heightened by the menopausal years as key reasons for the marital breakdown.
Why does it happen?
Perimenopause and the menopause are highly transformational stages for women, so it’s understandable that it can mean a particularly challenging time for couples.
The combined impact of physical, physiological and cognitive symptoms of menopause over an extended period of time can be overwhelming, leaving many women feeling increasingly anxious, depressed and lacking self-confidence.
This period of change can cause new issues between spouses or highlight existing struggles.
In a survey conducted by Stowe Family Law last year 77% of women felt menopausal symptoms affected their mental health, with 65% saying the menopausal years had negatively affected their relationship.
The survey revealed a loss of physical intimacy was the area of relationships most impacted by the menopause. And 50% of those polled worried that a lack of sex could lead to their relationship ending.
The survey also revealed that other key areas triggering relationship issues during menopause were a partner not understanding what they are going through, an increase in arguments, lack of communication, and growing apart.
Divorce ‘danger zones’
Life-changes can have a huge impact on marriages, for example pregnancy, menopause, empty-nest syndrome, and are often referred to as divorce danger zones.
However, these life-changes rarely directly cause the breakdown of a marriage. Typically, life-changes expose and magnify existing issues. If the relationship is already struggling, it may not have the resilience to survive changes and challenging times, such as the menopause.
In fact, you and your partner may have reached the stage where you no longer want to resolve things at all.
Sound advice when you need it most
Divorce is not a decision taken lightly. For many the breakdown of their relationship is gradual and has a multitude of reasons and contributing factors.
If you identify the menopause as a factor, there is support available.
Clear family law advice is essential and can help to take the strain at an already difficult time, making the process as straightforward as possible and helping to ensure the best possible outcome for you.
Useful links
The impact of the menopause on relationships
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