Something I’ve heard several clients say recently, is “I didn’t go into marriage expecting to get a divorce”. And honestly, who does? Most people enter marriage hoping it will last forever, which is one of the reasons why divorce can feel overwhelming. Divorce can be considered one of a person’s most stressful life experiences. In addition to the legal process in general, there are often major changes involving finances, living arrangements, parenting schedules, relationships and the future. It’s normal to experience a wide range of emotions during this time, including sadness, anger, fear, frustration, guilt, grief, and uncertainty.
Many people are apprehensive about therapy because they assume it’s only for people experiencing a mental health crisis. In reality, therapy can be beneficial for anyone navigating a major life transition. You do not have to be diagnosed with depression to experience sadness, nor do you need an anxiety disorder to feel overwhelmed or worried about the future. Many emotions that surface during divorce are normal human responses to a difficult situation. Therapy can offer support, perspective, and practical tools to help work through these emotions in healthy and productive ways. Divorce can bring challenges difficult to process alone and emotions difficult to articulate, even when you have supportive friends and family members.
Therapy can also provide a neutral and safe space to talk openly about your feelings without judgment or biased opinion. Friends and family often offer advice based on their own experiences, and while they mean well, the conversations can leave people feeling judged, pressured, or misunderstood. A therapist’s role is to allow you to process your thoughts and feelings without worrying about taking sides or protecting someone else’s feelings.
Another important benefit is gaining perspective. During stressful situations it’s easy for maladaptive thinking to increase. It is easy to view situations in black-and-white, assume the worst-case scenario, overgeneralize a single event as the rule versus the exception, or place blame on yourself or others. A difficult conversation can feel like a complete breakdown in communication, and an unexpected setback can feel like proof that nothing will ever improve. Therapy can help recognize these thought patterns, challenge unhelpful assumptions, and develop a more balanced and realistic perspective.
Therapy may also improve the legal process in itself. Clients who feel supported often make better choices and thoughtful decisions. Being able to communicate effectively can help keep the focus on long term goals rather than reacting to short term frustrations. Therapy can’t eliminate the challenges that come along with divorce; however, it can help approach these challenges with greater clarity and confidence.
Seeking therapy is not a sign of weakness, it can be a sign that you are taking your health seriously and recognizing that you do not have to carry or figure everything out on your own. Professional support, when appropriate, can make a difference in how you navigate this chapter and the next. It’s okay to give yourself permission to ask for help.
– Javiette Grant
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