Before we begin pigskin prognostication, we are reading the biography of Paul Newman “The Extraordinary Life of an Ordinary Man”, culled together from hundreds of hours of oral interviews. “Who?” says the majority of 30 something judges as they scroll IG and Snapchat. “Oh yeah, the guy who sold popcorn and salad dressing.” For those of you thinking that, please don’t read it. Keep on with your candy crush games and denying rule 3’s without a hearing and sentencing people to the max because it makes you feel tough and smart.
For those few of you who don’t fit the above description, it’s a good read.
Our national past time has never been better. We are talking about baseball. Two nights ago, David Ovalle’s San Diego Padres edged out the LA Dodgers 2-1 in a 9-inning nail bitter. On Saturday they eliminated their hated rivals who won 111 games this year. In two weeks, the Padres have toppled two 100+ game winners- the Mets (101 wins) and the Dodgers (111), who everyone (including Rumpole) had playing in the NLCS. This SD team has chops.
Meanwhile the Phillies eliminated the World Champion Braves, and in a classic playoff game that went over six hours and 18 innings the Houston Astros returned to the NLCS for a record six straight years beating the Mariners in Seattle 1-0 in as great a baseball game as you will ever see. And in Cleveland, down 5-3 in the bottom of the 9th, the Guardians stroked four straight singles to beat the Yanks go up 2-1 in the series and make today a win or go home game for the Yankees.. George Steinbrenner immediately fired the Yanks manager from his grave for mis-managing the bullpen.
NFL.
Are there any good games this week?
Cheaters at Browns? Yawn. Jags at Colts? Double yawn. Bucs at Steelers? Snooze fest.
Maybe we will skip this week.
Can your Miami Dolphins, with half the team in the NFL concussion protocol and the other half in the NFL boo-boo protocol win against Minnesota Vikings team that are a surprising 4-1? The answer is yes, maybe, could be, sure, who knows? Fins are home dogs getting 4.5 and we love home dogs (more on that below). So take a flyer on Miami’s 3rd string QB and take the 4.5 and the under 45.5.
Ravens at Giants. Boy did we blow our pre-season analysis of the Giants. They aren’t half bad. And the Ravens aren’t that great. Gints are home dogs getting 5.5. We think no, they won’t cover, but that’s no fun. So lets take a couple of bucks and role with the NY Football Giants. And see below for our sucker bets this week because we are in that kind of mood. WIN- HOME DOG OF COURSE
Cowboys +6 at Eagles. We did not blow our pre-season pick of Philly going to the super bowl. And currently they are 5-0. Pokes backup QB Cooper Rush does what it takes to win- handing the ball off, making some key throws, protecting the ball, and riding a really good D. Philly could care less. They are a machine and this game means a lot to them if they want to win the division. Dallas win in Philly with a backup QB? Better chance of getting a Broward jury to vote for life, and that never happens, right? Philly -6 and a Geno’s cheese-steak wit, of course.
And now the game of the day: 49ers at Falcons.
Bills at Chiefs. This has confounded us all week. For the first time in his career Patrick Mahomes is a home dog. Did we mention we paid for a vacation home betting home dogs for the last 30 years? Chiefs are getting 3 at home. 3 points for Josh Allen and the Bills is a second and 20 at their own five with forty seconds left. E Z P Z. Buffalo is what KC used to be- a team that can score anywhere at anytime. After last years monster playoff game Buffalo beefed up their D and went out and got Von Miller. The Bills told Miller- “here’s a truck load of money. Do whatever you want for the rest of the season, but be a presence when we play the Chiefs.” KC in turn got rid of their best receiver (sending him to Miami) and signed an average JuJu Smith-Schuster who becomes yet another in a long line of receivers who just aren’t great without Big Ben throwing them the ball. Antwon Randle-El anyone? Mike Wallace Miami fans?
The Bills are better. Give the three and rest easy. But if you really want to have fun, join us in some sucker teaser bets. Remember in teasers you get six points extra and must place two bets laying 120 to win 100 (some books list teasers at 130-100, If you can find -110 let us know.)
Teaser One: Miami 10.5 (from 4.5) and under 51.5 (from 45.5). WIN BECAUSE OF THE TEASE –Fins lost 24-16.
Teaser Two: Giants 11.5 (from 5.5) and Eagles even (from -6).
Teaser Three: Bills +3 (from -3) and Eagles even.
There is a concept in betting called “expected value” EV. We do not have the time to explain it, Suffice to say if you do the math you can almost never get a positive EV on a teaser, which means Las vegas casinos build billion dollar extensions based on the EV in booking your teaser bets. But they are fun so what the hay? Have a few cold ones, some chili con queso dip and chips and book a few teaser and live a little, As Freddy Rumsen said the night Don and Roger fired him on Mad Men “Monday will be here sooner than you think.”
SURVIVOR SOON
UPDATE POOLER’S ZOOM PICKS THE CARDINALS – 3:58 PM.
Markus and Ireland go down with the Brady’s upset by the Steelers. Possible for Hanzy and Coco to win on a well placed bye.
Book1 SURVIVOR Week Six by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd