Always Watching.
I watched you smile the first time.
I watched you move in and out of the car.
I listened as you spoke kind words
and I watched what you did when I looked at you.
I heard you speak the words of love
even though I wasn’t listening.
I pretended that you weren’t real
because I couldn’t believe that you were.
I acted impulsively when I was near you
and didn’t act as quickly as I wanted.
I learned to watch and listen
when you thought I was being ridiculous.
I watched as you moved gracefully through life
while I struggled to cope.
I was jealous of the attention you gave
to everything and everyone else.
I was selfish and you were generous.
I never believed that you would leave me.
When you did,
I watched with anguish
and didn’t understand.
I watched you die
and was amazed at your calm.
I cried when I kissed you the last time
and wished I had done it more often.
I would like to believe that you are now watching
as I live a life that will certainly end someday.
I have found happiness again,
and don’t know whether your consciousness
lives in another realm.
If it does, I hope that you approve,
even though we can never know
what lays on the other side of midnight.
When I wake up in the early morning light
I watch as the sun comes up
and watch my lover sleeping.
She watches me,
and I watch over her.
We have both watched lovers speaking
and moving
and loving
and dying.
We have days ahead
to watch and learn and love again.